What is love made of? Robert Sternberg, a famous psychologist, identified several components of the feeling that worries all of us:
Intimacy - that is, the closeness and mutual assistance of partners. Especially noticeable in critical situations.Passion is a feeling of sexual attraction, which is felt most strongly at the beginning of a relationship, but in long ones it already becomes calmer and not so pronounced.Commitment is the willingness and desire to remain faithful to a loved one. A very significant aspect.Kinds of loveThe same psychologist identified several types of love.
Sympathy, which usually includes purely intimacy. There is no passion and devotion.An obsession that consists mainly of passion but excludes any commitment. It flashes and fades quickly.Empty love, including mutual obligations, only there is no passion and intimacy. Love by calculation, that is, a person is with a partner simply because it is so convenient for him.Romantic love that contains intimacy and passion, but excludes devotion. A striking example is the work "Romeo and Juliet".Companional love that combines intimacy and commitment. The passion has already passed. Typical for spouses who have been married for a long time.Senseless love, which is an interesting combination of passion and devotion, only there is no spiritual closeness. Often such love develops in rash marriages.Perfect love. Obviously, it contains all the above-mentioned components of feeling, therefore all normal couples strive for it. It is quite possible to achieve such a goal, however, it will not be easy not to lose it. And this love cannot be long, sooner or later it will turn into a different kind.
Stages of love developmentTo develop love, partners need to go through the following stages:
Candy-bouquet period. This is the time when people experience the most vivid emotions and do not see the flaws of a partner. There is a desire to "live together all my life."Habit. Partners have already gotten to know each other better, noticing flaws. The perception of the beloved comes to a realistic picture.Lapping. This is the most important level as it is the most likely to separate couples. A person tries to remake a partner for himself, which provokes frequent conflicts and misunderstandings.Patience. Lovers learn to accept each other with all their weaknesses. Quarrels can also be, but not so strong. The likelihood of parting is much lower in comparison with the previous stage.Service. The time of spiritual convergence of people, they show themselves to each other completely and completely, without any masks. Trust in your partner is incredibly strong, as is the feeling. There is a desire to give a loved one warmth and happiness just like that, disinterestedly.Friendship. The stage when the beloved have already gained enough experience, and all experiences receded into the background. They understand each other without words and know about all the skeletons in the closet. It is almost impossible to break the union at this stage.True love. A feeling that is likely to last the rest of your life. People become literally everything to each other.
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