KAKASAHEB DIXIT DIARY - EL DESPERTAR SAI

Chapter 1 - Kakasaheb Dixit Diary

The present work has taken shape by translating and scripting Telugu audio of Kakasaheb Dixit Diary into English script from www.saibaba.com.
Taking up this task of translating the audio and scripting it in
English was of highly tedious and lengthy nature. Still grace and will
of Lord Sai Baba worked on because it was His direction to do so. On
this occasion of Gurupoornima (2012) i am glad to share this treasure
with Devotee Readers. Parts of this diary will be shared subsequently.
Kindly visit our blog for full version of the diary.

This is how all things happened.

About one year ago (i.e in early 2011) while getting hooked with my
daily emails, I came across with an email from a devotee with subject
“Sai Darshan”. This email used to flash every Thursday containing
interesting links, literature and bhajans of Lord Sai Baba. A link with
Kakasaheb Dixit Diary was noticed and without any pause it was clicked
to be opened. It was in audio form in telugu language, so it rather
disappointed me as I could not understand this language and this
treasure will go un-turned. The gems of history will remain buried. It
took place in my system and remained there.

With passing time this treasure was completely forgotten. After one
year, I again remembered and tried various methods to get it translated
and get English script ready. A devotee’s name was then flashed in my
mind and contacted her quickly. Luckily she knew this language and
translated all twelve parts (herewith considered as chapters) within no
time.

The unexpected helping hand of Sai sister Sujata K has given shape to a
thought. I am thankful to her from the bottom of my heart. References
from the book Baba's Vaani by Vinny Chitluri have been taken to check
authenticity of the information and stories provided as it is also based
on the same subject matter.

Every possible care has been taken to put forth facts and information in
this book, still if they are shortcomings in it, kindly treat them as
mere human nature and I seek apologies for the same.

Introduction

Lord Sai Baba’s name has been a name giving solace to many peace seeking souls. His Karma-Bhoomi is Shirdi. He lived in Shirdi sporting in flesh and body for sixty untiring years. During this time span devotees like Madhavrao Deshpande (alias Shama), Mhalsapati, Govindrao Dabholkar (alias Hemadpant), Nanasaheb Chandorkar, B.V.Dev, Hari Sitaram Dixit (alias Kakasaheb Dixit),
G.S.Khaparde and many more to be added in the list, were associated to
this Divine Embodiment. Except the first two, others were highly learned
and had acquired considerable good position in social and professional
fields gathering immense wealth, name and fame. Still their association
with this Lord living in rags and dilapidated mosque
was as deep as water in the sea. With their knowledge of words, many
have written literature which serve as good source of history to the
devotees of today. Hemadpant was given responsibility of noting down
incidents happening in Shirdi and make biography of Lord Sai Baba named “Shri Sai Satcharitra”.
This task has been taken up with full faith and devotion by Hemadpant
and presently this is the most popular literature read and followed by
devotees of Lord Sai Baba.

The present work “Kakasaheb Dixit’s Diary” is also another treasure of
divine incidents which took place in Shirdi in times of Lord Sai Baba as
gathered by Hari Sitaram Dixit (alias Kakasaheb Dixit). Sai Baba used
to call him affectionately Langda Kaka. Kaka Saheb Dixit was known for
his obedience to Baba’s orders.

About Kakasaheb Dixit

Hari Sitaram Dixit alias Kakasaheb Dixit was born in a Brahmin family in
a taluka named Khandva in Madhya Pradesh in the year 1864. His primary
education was completed in Khandva and Hingan Ghat, after that he took
admission in Alfiston College of Mumbai and became L.L.B. at very tender
age of 19. After that, he appeared in Solicitors examination and at the
age of 21 only, he joined a solicitors firm by name Little & Co.
Then he started his own solicitors business. Due to sharp intelligence
& good presence of mind he started earning good amount of money. He
built a bungalow of his own in Lonawala from the wealth he earned. He
was well versed in English language similarly he had good knowledge of
Sanskrit too. He had a practice of reading Ramayan, Mahabharat, Yog
Vashit and Jnaneshwari.

Injury to leg:

Once Kakasaheb Dixit went to London for some social service, while
trying to board a fast train he missed a step of the train and fell at
platform. There was sprain in his leg. It was a deep wound. Due to this
reason he was not able to walk straight. He went through many treatments
in London, operation was also undergone, still he was not able to walk
properly and this remained till his end.

This Lameness of Kakasaheb Dixit's leg occurred only due to remove the
fickleness of mind. Due to his lameness he got a chance of placing his
feet on the soil of Shirdi. When calamity befalls on a human being, he
dislikes everything. But sometimes such calamities prove to very useful.

When Kakasaheb Dixit returned with his lame leg to India, Sai Baba's
name was not known to him. In the year 1909, once he went to Lonawala to
spend vacation and stayed in his bungalow. There he met Nanasaheb
Chandorkar his 'separated classmate'. After school education, Nanasaheb
got engaged in government service and Kakasaheb started his own
business. After many years they met in Lonawala.

Kakasaheb narrated his leg problem to Nanasaheb in detail. Nanasaheb
said, "When all the dava (medicines) stop working then only Duaa
(prayers to God) work.

Kakasaheb said, "Nana, I agree with you totally but today true saints
are rare to find. If by chance we are successful in finding one, then it
is only we have to repent in the end."

Nanasaheb answered, "Let me tell you something and hope that you will
trust me truly. I am a disciple of one Guru Maharaj. His name is Sai
Baba and he lives in Shirdi a small village near Kopergaon. You take his
refuge, your lameness of leg will be cured and also the fickleness of
your mind be destroyed. I have shared my views and opinion with you. My
Guru Maharaj always said - If a sparrow's leg is tied to thread and
pulled it is drawn to us without any effort, in the same way I draw My
men towards Me from any corner of this earth. Those persons whose good
fortunes have not risen are not called to Shirdi."

Kakasaheb was also a person of religious nature. His roots had deep
knowledge and an urge to study spirituality. Nanasaheb was a learned
person and he would not say anything meaningless. On hearing the words
of Nanasaheb a new love towards Baba rised in Kakasaheb's heart. A
divine devotion started growing and Maya (attachment) started
decreasing. There and then he decided to meet Baba.

In the year 1910 Kakasaheb had to go to Ahmednagar for election work. He
resided at Sardar Mirikar’s house. Mirikar’s were well known Sai
devotees. Every member of Mirikar’s family had full faith in Baba.

In those days horse race gambling was popular. People were very
interested to witness horse races. Sardar Mirikar also went to horse
race with Kakasaheb and they met Balasaheb Mirikar, Mamlatdar of
Kopergaon. Sardar Mirikar and Bala Saheb Mirikar were cousins. Nana
Panse and Appa Gadre also turned up in due course. All started sharing
infinite leelas of Baba with each other. Nana Panse said, "An intimate
devotee of Baba, Madhavrao Deshpande is in Ahmednagar".

After retiring from horse race, Mirikar sent his servant to fetch
Madhavrao. On his arrival Kakasaheb got excited and hugged Madhavrao
lovingly.

Madhavrao said, "My mother in law is now well due to Baba's grace, so
leaving behind the advantage of darshan of Baba, now there is no need
for me to stay here. I am leaving by today night's train". Kakasaheb
Dixit thought that Shirdi is not very far from Kopergaon. The work of
election can be done anyday. When the golden opportunity of Madhavrao's
company is in front of me, I cannot miss it”. They boarded in train at
10 o'clock from Ahmednagar and when they alighted at Kopargaon, they saw
Nanasaheb Chandorkar standing on the platform.

Nanasaheb said, "Had not I said that Sai Baba pulls his devotees like a sparrow with its legs tied to thread."

The trio fully engrossed in happiness, took darshan of Lord Dattatreya and hired a tonga to Shirdi.

As soon as Kakasaheb stepped in Dwarkamai, Lord Sai Baba said, "O Welcome Langda Kaka!"

After that Lord Sai Baba started calling him Langda Kaka and other people of Shirdi started calling him Kakasaheb.

Kakasaheb Dixit got engrossed with Lord Sai Baba's darshan and he become
still as picture drawn on canvas. His eyes were fixed as a stone.

Construction of Wada:

During his short presence in Shirdi he stayed in Sathe Wada. But he was
uncomfortable there so he decided that God has given him money in
abundance and it must be used for Him only.

Kakasaheb shared his heart's desire with Lord Sai Baba and for his noble
work, His permission was seeked. He bought a small piece of land
exactly in front of Sathe Wada. With the permission of Baba, the
construction of wada started on December 10, 1910 and it was completed
after four months. The wada was put to use from March 12, 1911.

With the powers, that rest in abode of Lord Baba, Kakasaheb's interest
from worldly attachments and affairs started decreasing and he made
Shirdi his home. He, one day said to Baba, "Baba, God has given enough
money for food then why I be engaged in these worldly knots? I have got a
chance to live in Shirdi by good fortune. I have no desire to leave the
pleasure of heaven like Shirdi and go to any hell. I wish to wind up
this solicitor's business and live in Shirdi forever."

Lord Sai Baba spoke in sweet voice, "Kaka Why there is need to wind up your business?"

Kakasaheb answered, "O Baba in my business, I have to falsify the truth and false facts are to be made true."

Lord
Baba said, "Others may do whatever they like, but why should we do? Do
your business honestly without any false action, but there is no need to
wind up the business."

Like this as per Lord Baba's advice Kakasaheb continued his business,
but he spend most time of the year in Shirdi and served Lord Baba whole
heartedly.

Lord Baba gave him updesh to read Eknathi Bhagwat in morning and Ramayan
at night daily, which he followed strictly even if he was traveling in
train. This was his routine till the age of 62 when he took leave from
this world forever.

In the year 1926, Kakasaheb Dixit's son Ramkrishna fell ill. He was
admitted in hospital of Dr. Deshmukh. Kakasaheb intended to see him so
he went to meet Govindrao R. Dabholkar in Colaba from Vile Parle. Before
starting for the hospital, he lighted perfumed incense stick and sung
the following melodious gazal by Dasganu Maharaj:

Sai Reham Nazar Karna... Bachoo Ka Palan Karna...
Jaanaa Tumne Jagat Pasara...Sab Hi Jhoot Zamaanaa...
Sai Reham Nazar Karna... Bachoo Ka Palan Karna...
Main Andha Hu Banda Apka...Mujh Se Prabhu Dikhalana...
Sai Reham Nazar Karna... Bachoo Ka Palan Karna...
Dasganu Kahe Ab Kya Bolu...Thak Gayi Meri Rasna...
Sai Reham Nazar Karna... Bachoo Ka Palan Karna...
Sai Reham Nazar Karna... Bachoo Ka Palan Karna...

Then he left and reached Mahim station with Dabholkar where he meet Lord
Baba's intimate devotee Raghunath Purandhare. On hearing about
Ramkrishna's bad health, he also expressed his desire to go and see him
in hospital. When they reached Mahim station, they were late by three
minutes; still they were able to board the train with Lord Baba's grace.

After boarding the train, Kakasaheb said, "How kind is Sai Baba? He
takes care of the minutest needs of His devotees. If we had missed the
train our day would have spoiled and we had to spend the night in
Colaba". Saying these words Kakasaheb closed his eyes. Purandhare and
Dabholkar assumed that Kakasaheb got engrossed in Lord Baba's
meditation.

About four to five stations passed away, now Dabholkar whispered to
Kakasaheb, "Bhau, are you awake?" He repeated his question about three
times, but he did not get reply and Kakasaheb seemed to be turning. So a
doctor of railway was called from Mahim station. On examination doctor
concluded while speaking Kakasaheb left this mortal world.

Kakasaheb's dead body was taken to his house in Vile Parle. On July 5,
1926, Monday, Ekadashi day at the age of sixty two, Kakasaheb entered
Lord Sai Baba's real world (i.e. heaven). Lord Baba always said him,
"Kaka! I will take you in aeroplane".

From the point of view of a Sansaari purush, Kakasaheb's death was pleasing, fearless and surprising.

From the point of view of spirituality, his death could be considered as a blessing from his Sadguru.

It is said in Gita, "The last wish or thought that a man has at the hour
of death, determines his future course and he attains the same".

In this case, when Kaksaheb was talking about Lord 0Sai Baba' fame and
kindness, he breathed his last. Thus he attained Sadgati. It is very
rare that at the time of death a person has Lord's name in his mouth,
only great person like Kakasaheb Dixit cannot forget to take the name of
Lord Baba in his last moment.

Chapter 1 - Kakasaheb Dixit Diary

Few youngsters came to Shirdi for Lord Sai Baba’s darshan. They
wished to capture photograph of Lord Baba. When they did not succeed in
this task for next two days, they disclosed their heart’s desire to
Madhavrao Deshpande (alias Shama) to request Lord Baba on their behalf.
Shama advised them to meet Lord Baba when He returns from Lendi near
Sathe Wada. So they all marched towards the Wada and stood there waiting
for Him. Lord Baba returned from Lendi and reached near Wada. He
questioned Shama about the matter. Shama quietly answered, “Baba, these
young boys want to take Your photo and that is the reason we all have
assembled here. Please stand here for a while” Lord Baba said, “There is
no need to take My photo. To know My Real Form they just need to break
the wall of difference between us” and quickly went to Dwarkamai Masjid.
The youngsters wished to take photograph of three and a half feet of
body of Lord Sai Baba which exactly was not His Real Form. They failed
to realize that this world and Lord Baba are not different. The feelings
of Dwaitya (duality) existed in their hearts and they saw Him only as a
Body with Flesh and Blood. This ignorance was noticed by Him, so He
wished that this wall of difference should be demolished. He wanted to
His every devotee to get rid of hindrances in the path of spirituality
and learn His Real Form.

Sometime later, a person from Prabhusamaj came for Lord Sai Baba’s
Darshan. He was working as a photographer for sometime in a photo studio
in Bombay. Even he had the desire to take BABA’s photo and he decided
to take BABA’s photo without HIS permission as he was unsure about
seeking His permission and went on to take BABA’s photo. After
returning, when he cleaned the negative of the photo, to his amazement
he found his Guru’s photo instead of Lord Sai Baba’s. He was dumb
founded seeing this extraordinary miracle. He then came to a conclusion
that Lord Sai Baba has shown this miracle to teach him a lesson that one
should have determined faith on his own guru.

After few years of Mahasamadhi of Lord Sai Baba, there was heavy
flood in MW region. Lord Baba came into his dream pointing towards a box
said, “There is a green coloured cloth in this box and I wish you sent
it to Shirdi to cover My Samadhi”. He was not aware of any cloth in the
box as he had forgotten. When he was reminded about the box and cloth in
dream, he made a deliberate search for it in the box. To his amazement,
he found green cloth. Accordingly he informed about dream and green
cloth to Shirdi Sansthan and sent it to Shirdi. After 1923, this cloth
was frequently used to cover Mahasamadhi of Lord Sai Baba.

A boy who belonged to Thane region of Mumbai was missing from many
years. His father made all possible efforts to find him, but in vain. At
last he went to Shirdi and told Lord Sai Baba about his condition. Lord
Baba comforted him saying that he will get back his son very soon.
After spending two days in Shirdi, he returned home with permission of
Lord Baba. He boarded train from Manmad to Bombay (now Mumbai) and
reached Thane. At the same time a train came and halted. The father saw
his son alighting that train. Both father and son met after a long time
and Lord Baba’s words came true.

In the last post, we read introduction and Chapter 1 of Kakasaheb Dixit Dairy. We shall now proceed to Chapter 2 of the same.

Once Lord Sai Baba appeared in Shama’s dream to inquire whether he
had been to Govardana Das’s house. On receiving negative answer from
Shama, He said, “Govardan’s mother is no more, so you should go and
console him. Shama had no doubt in Lord Baba’s words, so he went to meet
Govardan the next day at about 3 P.M. On reaching, he found that Lord
Baba’s words in his dream were absolutely true. Govardan’s mother died the previous day and Shama was sent there timely.

A person named Dwarkanath come to Shirdi. He carried a letter for
Lord Sai Baba which was given by his uncle to be given to Lord Baba.
Dwarkanath’s uncle had described his daughter’s health issues in the letter. When the letter was handed over to Lord Baba, He whispered that she will pass
away soon. I (Kakasaheb Dixit) heard these words distinctly, but others
could not. Later on, when the letter was read out to Lord Baba,
Dwarkanath asked Him, “When can I bring my wife here?” Lord Baba said,
“She will herself come to my place after four days”. On fourth day, she
passed away and Lord Baba’s words came true.

Once on Guurpoornima, Hemadpant came to Shirdi alongwith his
family. The money which he had brought with him got exhausted in two
days leaving him penniless. After one day, I and Moreshwar Pardhan
reached Shirdi. Pradhan was also left without money soon. Next day, Lord
Baba asked for dakshina from Pradhan. He said, “I do not have any penny
with me”. Lord Baba said, “Go to Anna Sahib (Hemadpant) and get the
money”. Pradhan knew that even Hemadpant’s money was exhausted. But Lord
Baba’s command had to be followed. So without saying a word, Pradhan
went to Hemadpant and asked for money. Hemadpant was rather perplexed at
such a demand of Pradhan. He questioned, “How did you know that I have
money with me now? Just now a person residing in Bandra got money for
me.” Nobody knew about this affair because it happened a few minutes
ago before Pradhan went to Hemadpant, but what was secret from the
divine vision of Lord Baba?

A Muslim devotee went to Lord Baba. His friend who was Brahmin by
caste was sentenced to death. The devotee requested Lord Baba to save
his friend from this punishment. Lord Baba blessed him saying, “He will
be blessed by God in four days.” At the said time, the Brahmin was
released on an appeal and he was freed from death sentence.

Shri. Chidambar Gadgil was a devotee of Lord Ganesha. He was also
devoted to Lord Baba and saw Lord Ganesha in Him. He did pooja to Lord
Baba in the way as he did to Lord Ganesha. Lord Baba wanted to confirm
his faith in Lord Ganesha and once when Gadgil was worshipping Lord
Baba, He suddenly spoke, “This old man is a deceiver. Throw this
Mahatara (an endearing name for fellow devotee) out, he says that there
is a rat below my gaadi (mattress).” Gadgil was happy to note that Lord Baba accepted his worship and his seeing Lord Ganesha in Him.

Chapter 3 - Kakasaheb Dixit Diary

One day, in afternoon, Lord Sai Baba
asked me (Dixit) whether Pradhan has come. I answered that he has not
come. I seeked permission from Lord Baba to send a message to Pradhan to
come to Shirdi. Lord Baba answered in affirmative. So a message was sent to him through Bala Shimpi.

At the same time when Lord Baba enquired about Pradhan, he was with
some person in a bar room in Bombay (now Mumbai) High Court and suddenly
he fell unconscious. He was continuously chanting name of Lord Baba.
His friend went to seek medical aid nearby and by the time he returned,
Pradhan had regained consciousness. After some time, he returned his
home in Santacruz by travelling in train without anybody’s help.

Next day, Bala Shimpi came from Shirdi and gave him Lord Baba’s Udi
and a letter written by me regarding the message which Lord Baba wanted
to convey. Pradhan was even told that suddenly Lord Baba remembered
him. He came to know for what reason did Lord Baba asked about him. Thus
this merciful God takes care of His devotees when they are in trouble
and even though they are very far from Him.

Once Pradhan wrote a letter to Lord Baba in my name, when I was in Shirdi to invite Him for opening ceremony of Lord Ganesh’s
idol in a temple constructed in Santacruz. I informed about the letter
and matter contained therein to Lord Baba. He gave affirmation on the
same. I wrote a letter about Lord Baba’s approval to Pradhan. On the
same day Pradhan’s sister-in-law named Smt. Thaaibai saw a dream. She
saw someone installing Lord Ganesha’s idol. She informed about her dream
to everyone in morning. After some time, Pradhan received my letter.
Thus Lord Baba informed Pradhan about His approval even before my letter
reached to him and increased his faith many folds.

My friend once complained to me that he was not able to sleep even
for a minute for past eight days when we both were at work. Doctor’s medicines were not helpful as well. I gave him Udi
which I got from Shirdi and asked him to keep it near him for three
consecutive days. Next day he came and happily informed me that he had
sound sleep the previous night as soon as Udi was placed near him.

Another friend of mine who resides in Bandra came to Shirdi with his son who was also suffering from sleeping disorder. That night he slept calmly without any problem in Shirdi. Henceforth this disease left him for lifetime.

Due to the love and devotion for Lord Sai Baba in my heart, Shirdi
had become my permanent home. One day I decided not to have dinner for
the rest of his life. This was shared with all others in Wada (Dixit Wada). After Madhyayan arti
that day, Lord Baba asked him what he was planning to have for dinner
that day. I replied, “I am ready to cook and serve You anything You
wish.” “As usual prepare Dal (Lentil soup) and Poli (Chapati – also
known as Roti)” came the reply. I asked him, whether I can prepare the
same for that day’s dinner and offer as Naivedhya to Him in Dwarkamai.
Lord Baba answered, “Bring the preparation here but you have it in Wada
itself”. I said, “Today I will have dinner as per Your wish, but from
tomorrow I have vowed not to eat anything in dinner”. Lord Baba did not
answer me at that time.

The next day again He asked me to
prepare Naivedya of His wish and asked me to have the same. In this way
He did not allow me to fast and also showed His disinterest in carrying
fast. After sometime, He did not ask me about dinner because He knew
that I was having dinner regularly by not sticking to my vow.
Chapter 4 - Kakasaheb Dixit Diary
A devotee named Madhur Das came to Shirdi often. During one of such visits, he met Sagun Meru Naik who had a hotel in Shirdi
where many pilgrims had their food. They both had good time chatting
about matters of other people’s faults and affairs. Then Madhur Das went
to Lord Sai Baba
and sat near Him. Lord Baba asked him, “What was this Sagun saying?”
Now Madhur immediately recollected what fault of his was caught by Lord
Baba. He remembered that Lord Baba did not like when people blame others and talk about them
for no reason. In this way, Lord Baba again reminded Madhur and us not
to indulge ourselves in other’s matters because what is for us, is with
us and what is for others, is with them.

Shantabaai’s left hand’s fingers were full of worms and it caused her unbearable pain. To cure her from this ailment, Lord Sai Baba once appeared in her dream
and asked her to apply Dikamali – a type of herb (Cambi gum) on the
paining hand and fingers. She was very happy to get this advice from
Lord Baba in dream and she instantly followed it. To the surprise of all, the swelling
and pain disappeared within seconds of applying the herb. This was
noted in a letter which was sent to Shirdi on September 1, 1918.

Narayan Gopinath Dige of Bombay had pain in his intestine. It was getting intense day by day. He consulted many doctors in Bombay and tried many medicines
to no effect. A friend of his was a devotee of Lord Sai Baba and thus
he advised Narayan to go to Shirdi, place his problem before the Lord
there, and He is sure to take care of. But since his condition was
rather serious, he showed his inability to travel to Shirdi. However he
was confident that Lord Baba’s grace would certainly cure him. He vowed
once he gets alright, he would certainly go to Shirdi to pay his homage.

His friend thus gave him Udi
and advised him to apply it on his forehead daily. Narayan did exactly
as directed and next day itself, he was relieved from pain. After one
week he got completely fine and he started for Shirdi and had Lord Baba’s darshan.

In another occasion, a person named Joshi’s daughter was suffering from serious health
issues from many years. One day her condition became so critical that
she was at death’s door. Her mother gave her Udi and Lord Baba’s arti.
Immediately her condition started to improve, but she had not recovered completely.
After some time, Joshi alongwith his wife and daughter came to Shirdi.
The girl had turned very weak due to long illness and she barely could
walk. So her parents carried her to Dwarkamai before Lord Baba. He applied Udi on her face. After three days, she was completely cured. Now she could walk without anybody’s support. Such is the divine power of Udi.

This incident happened in 1913. Shri. G.K.Vaidya of Dahanu once
came to Shirdi for Lord Baba’s darshan. He spent nice time with Lord
Baba. After returning he advised his elder brother Atmaram to visit
Shirdi. Atmaram as per his brother’s advice came to Shirdi. His age was
42 years at that time. His wife had left his home and was staying at her
mother’s place as some misunderstandings and problems cropped up
between them. They hardly lived together and their marriage seemed to be
hollow. Many of their family members tried to re-unite them, but the
lady was not ready to return to
her husband. While Atmaram was in Shirdi, the lady went to his place and
said to her brother-in-law (G.K.Vaidya) that, that was her real home
and it was improper for her to be at her parent’s place from so long.
Vaidya was surprised at this sudden change. He was sure that what all
has happened is due to the grace of Lord Baba only. Then after, Atmaram
and his wife lead a happy life with their kids and there was no place
for any problem or misunderstanding between them.

Chapter 1 - Kakasaheb Dixit Diary

Introduction

About Kakasaheb Dixit

Chapter 1 - Kakasaheb Dixit Diary

Chapter 3 - Kakasaheb Dixit Diary

Chapter 4 - Kakasaheb Dixit Diary